Host: Adriane Jolly
When we start out at the beginning of every month in our
businesses We have our monthly goals set, Method of operation or our schedule in place,
and we are ready to take over the world… then what happens…sometimes life gets
in the way, unexpected interruptions pop up all over the place and all of our
planning gets tossed to the side … an issue a lot of us have, is that we tend
to over extend ourselves and one of the
biggest stumbling blocks we can have in our business is not having the ability
to say No.
Let’s take a look at why we are so afraid of saying no. For the most part, we are afraid of hurting
someone’s feelings; we do not want to be rude.
Why? Because we want to help people, we want to be in agreement with others, we do not want to be the only one in a group
decision to say no, we have a Fear of
conflict—that if we say no we are going to make someone mad and we are going to
burn a bridge, or we are going to close a door-- if we say no once we may not
be considered again and we will lose an opportunity.
Saying no does not mean any of these things; these are
situations that for the most part we make up. Thoughts we create in our own
minds. We give so much of ourselves to others, and we should give – give to our
business, give to our success partners and colleagues, but we also have to keep
in mind you have your own business as well, You have your own priorities and
needs, just like everyone has his/her own needs. Learning to say no is about respecting
and valuing your time and space.
It is all about how you say no and putting systems into
place that is fair to you and your business and allows you to give exceptional
customer service, exceptional support to your success partners and having the
time for your family and loved ones (because for some of us that is one of the
reasons you decide to go into business in the first place is for time freedom
and to spend more of that free time with loved ones.)
Even though it seems easy to just say no…Right? My children will tell you that I have no
problem saying no to them. But it is so very different in a professional
setting. At times it is not as easy as it seems when you are trying to be diplomatic
and avoiding conflict inside of your business.
Here is My List of Seven great No’s and how to use each one:
No #1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities
at the moment.”
If you are too just too busy, this “No” lets the person know
your plate is full at the moment, so he/she should hold off on this as well as
future requests. If it makes it easier, you can also share what you’re working
on so the person can understand better. I would use no this when I have too
many commitments to attend to.
No #2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of
something. How about we reconnect at X time?”
It’s common to get sudden requests for help when you are in
the middle of something. This method of saying no is a great way to
(temporarily) hold off the request. First, you let the person know it’s not a
good time as you are doing something. Secondly, you make known your desire to
help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person
doesn’t feel blown off.
No #3. “I’d love to do this, but …”
This is a gentle way of breaking no to the others. It’s
encouraging as it lets the person know you may like the idea and there’s
nothing wrong about it. Their ideas are absolutely great, but I can’t take part
due to other reasons such as prior commitments or different needs.
No #4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to
you.”
This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you
are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, this is the No to use.
Be sure to specify a date / time-range (say, in 1-2 weeks) where the person can
expect a reply.
If you’re not interested in what the person has to offer at
all, don’t lead him/her on. Use another no with is more straight forward.
No #5. “This doesn’t meet my needs now but I’ll be sure
to keep you in mind.”
If someone is pitching a deal/opportunity which isn’t what
you are looking for, let him/her know straight-out that it doesn’t meet your
needs. It helps as the person know it’s nothing wrong about what he/she is
offering, but that you are looking for something else or you are happYy where
you are. At the same time, by saying you’ll keep him/her in mind, it signals
you are open to future opportunities.
No #6. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why
don’t you try X?”
If you are being asked for help in something which you (i)
can’t contribute much to (ii) don’t have resources to help, let it be known
they are looking at the wrong person. If possible, refer them to an expert. This
way you help steer the person in the right place.
No #7. “No, I can’t.”
This is the simplest and most direct way to say no; don’t
think so much about saying no and just say it outright.
This list of no’s can work both ways. It can help you to learn how to say no easier
and this list can help you understand why someone may say no to you and why you
should not take a “No” so personally.
So now let’s talk about systems…
Systems that you could put into place in your business can
be as simple as creating a schedule for coaching calls, office hours for phone
calls. Making sure that your team knows your expectations up front when you
welcome them into your success line- make your office hours available to them
in a welcome letter or in a new member’s orientation.
We can still give to others, but do it in a way that will
benefit both parties involved—Schedule Your Time.
Learn to say no more to things that do not meet your needs or
your business needs. You will find that it is not that bad and people are
actually more understanding that YOU think.
By Saying No more to requests that do not meet your needs or
your business needs, you will find that you will have more time for your
business, yourself and your family.
Here is a quote from Jeffery Combs who is
a coach, trainer, and motivational speaker
“If you are an addicted "Over Obligator" you will continue to say yes to people and obligate yourself out of guilt and control. If you are exhausted, unorganized and overwhelmed now is the time to change. Let go of your tendency to enable others, volunteer for everything and say yes without considering your time and your feelings.”
Source: http://zenhabits.net/say-no/
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